When I quit my job for the greener pastures of California, I had a very vague plan: I would stay with my fiancee at her parents’ house for a little bit, until I got a car, a job, and an apartment. I was making a major move and getting a little help definitely wouldn’t hurt while I got settled.
The Plan That Wasn’t
I didn’t have much of a timeline, but after about 3 weeks I realized that getting a job wasn’t going to be as simple as wanting one. Also, after “crunching” one number, I found out that by temporarily staying with the future in-laws, I was saving about $1,300 a month. There were very few incentives to look for a job.
But, I had a future to consider and people were starting to tell me that ‘chilling’ was not a long-term plan. It sounded like a good life to me, I don’t know what all the concern was about. I had blog income coming in and basically no expenses. Still, I was able to find myself a job, probably based on lucky timing more than anything else.
I’m Moving Out…Not!
Well, I got a car and a job, so it was time to move out, right? Not so fast. There were a few reasons why moving out didn’t make sense:
- Staying where I was meant $1,300 could go towards our wedding this coming June or possibly a future house.
- My fiancee’s brother just went abroad for a year, so I was no longer an extra body. I was the replacement son.
- My job was about 15 minutes from home as opposed to an hour drive from my proposed new apartment in the city. And my office was moving to somewhere with a little bit more reasonable of a commute in about 3-4 months, so maybe that would be a better time to move.
Why You Should Live With Your Parents
After some very gentle prodding, I agreed to stay for a few more months. While I try and pitch in any way I can, I feel a lot like a freeloader. Still, any way I cut it, the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.
At my disposal I have a pool, a jaccuzi, my own room, my own bathroom, a fully stocked refrigerator, a personal chef (my fiancee who is a much better cook than I), a 46 inch HDTV, free laundry, free parking, and a bunch of hand-me-down shirts from her brother that are just my size. Basically, I am living the dream.
Readers, what would you do if you were in my position? Would you move out as soon as possible? Or enjoy the nice features of a house while you could?
It’s not my intent to sound self-righteous whatsoever, but I definitely feel like a sense of urgency to get back on your “own” is healthy. Personally I’d have a hard time transitioning from having everything at my disposal to then starting marriage where the onus to provide is on YOU. I’m very glad to hear you found a job – Congrats on getting married soon, too! Sounds like it’s not a long-term situation, so I think you’re on the right track.
@Austin, I definitely hear what you’re saying, and I’m planning on moving out several months before getting married, so there will be some transition period.
There are parts of being on my own that I liked, and for me, being financially independent is really important. The married life adjustment will definitely come, and it’s something I’m excited for!
You know I wouldn’t have but after listening to my husband I can say I would consider it. Only if only though we had a plan meaning we were saving for something and if needed we could actually afford to move out when we wanted. Saving for a house or something would be worth the lack of freedom or privacy for a little while.
If you aren’t stressing the relationship by staying and you do have a plan to leave at some point in the relatively near future I say stay.
If I get along with everyone in the house, then I probably would stay a while. I don’t think it’s a big deal at all to stay with your parents or wife’s parents.
If your in-laws don’t drive you crazy and you can enjoy the amenities for a while longer, why rush to move? Enjoy yourself, enjoy the savings, and roll with it. It’s still an option for us too, but it wouldn’t be as simple/easy.
If you are comfortable living with them, I don’t have a problem. I would be on my own for privacy reasons.
Honestly, I would move back in with my parents in a heartbeat if I could. They live just kind of outside of what would be a reasonable commuting distance to my work, but I’ve actually considered moving back in. I would save so much money! I could, like, entertain the idea of buying a house in the next 3-5 years instead of in the next 15 years! Man, I am spending so much money on rent. I’d say freeload as long as possible (as long as you haven’t overstayed your welcome; then scram).
I 100% Would Do it! I just wouldn’t stay to a point where the Father in law Starts to question your ambition
We lived with my in-laws a few years ago for a couple of months while we were waiting for our house to be built. It was nice to be saving the mortgage payments while we were there – and the fact that our meals were provided, and we had the whole lower level to ourselves (which included 50″ big screen, pool and more). We had a good time hanging out with the in-laws as well. But I’ll tell you, when it came time to move into our new house, I was ready to go. I love my in-laws and all, but I just like having my own space, and when living in a house with so many others, that can be tough.